Sunday, July 02, 2006
as the saying goes, temptations are hard to resist??? game or not?
looks like my blog`s collecting damn loads of dust specks. i had to apologise `cos i`ve been really busy the past weeks. simply had no time to even come online, let alone to update my blog. alot of things happened during my disappearance from my blog. tonnes to speak off. well, i know you people will complain so i`ll try to cut my post short, simple and sweet.
work wise, needless to say, keeps piling up and getting on my nerves. suffocation`d almost torn me apart. i need a good rest. really do. badly. praying much for one too. =X frankly speaking so, i would like much to either complain the heavy workload i`m given for or simply just throw my shoe at the management and just leave for good. but being impulsive is bad also. someone just complained i`m blur like sotong and am a stupid dumb ass. -.- do i get bullied easily nowadays? am i so different from the past years? advise me, those who knew me since the younger days.
my feelings were so complicating. it`s hard to describe. there are certain things i`m so afraid now. even assurance won`t work. it seems like a barrier. it's hard to hurdle it across. i`m not sure if i`ve forgotten *him but that`s definitely not the problem. i value kinships, friendships and every little or great relationships. he made me realised it's hurting to lose a love and a friend, especially one whom you were once close to. i forsee everything before i dive into it. that's my forte and my death point. i can choose to plan before things happen BUT i will dread the thing i`m facing. like now. somehow i don`t think it`s the correct time yet. and there are vast differences between us. i love freedom and control but i prefer the first latter, while i think you prefer the second. our ages are of no concerns to you, but they are to me because i've a bad experience on that. you thought i mind the financial status of my other half while i beg to differ. you want to settle down early but i had already planned my near future so i may not agree with you. the next 2 or 3 years you may have to commit to the country. i can wait if i want to but what i dread is one or the both of us may change our minds and will affect us adversely. i do not want anymore emotional downturns. my heart may not make it. these are only some of the differences i thought about. there seems to be more. i`m not ready like i seems to be. is my analysis wrong? and i`m not worthy enough i think. so the conclusion is that the problems lie in me not him. i need to cross myself before i can reach you.
by the way raymond`s in hospital. he ain't getting any better. getting us worried for him. been praying that he'll get well soon. though we may tangle ourselves in arguments at times, i still care. DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUS WHEN I TALK IN ANGER. i try to be understanding already and i think i am, but things are bad still. he said i was over sensitive but i don`t think so. mr chan, i quarrel with you some other day, you rest for the time being. =)
meanwhile i work hard to earn my pay for my studies. and to pay for my meals. haha.. it`s dinner time. *munchies*
waiting for dar to call me later. =)
7:10 PM
as the saying goes, temptations are hard to resist??? game or not?
looks like my blog`s collecting damn loads of dust specks. i had to apologise `cos i`ve been really busy the past weeks. simply had no time to even come online, let alone to update my blog. alot of things happened during my disappearance from my blog. tonnes to speak off. well, i know you people will complain so i`ll try to cut my post short, simple and sweet.
work wise, needless to say, keeps piling up and getting on my nerves. suffocation`d almost torn me apart. i need a good rest. really do. badly. praying much for one too. =X frankly speaking so, i would like much to either complain the heavy workload i`m given for or simply just throw my shoe at the management and just leave for good. but being impulsive is bad also. someone just complained i`m blur like sotong and am a stupid dumb ass. -.- do i get bullied easily nowadays? am i so different from the past years? advise me, those who knew me since the younger days.
my feelings were so complicating. it`s hard to describe. there are certain things i`m so afraid now. even assurance won`t work. it seems like a barrier. it's hard to hurdle it across. i`m not sure if i`ve forgotten *him but that`s definitely not the problem. i value kinships, friendships and every little or great relationships. he made me realised it's hurting to lose a love and a friend, especially one whom you were once close to. i forsee everything before i dive into it. that's my forte and my death point. i can choose to plan before things happen BUT i will dread the thing i`m facing. like now. somehow i don`t think it`s the correct time yet. and there are vast differences between us. i love freedom and control but i prefer the first latter, while i think you prefer the second. our ages are of no concerns to you, but they are to me because i've a bad experience on that. you thought i mind the financial status of my other half while i beg to differ. you want to settle down early but i had already planned my near future so i may not agree with you. the next 2 or 3 years you may have to commit to the country. i can wait if i want to but what i dread is one or the both of us may change our minds and will affect us adversely. i do not want anymore emotional downturns. my heart may not make it. these are only some of the differences i thought about. there seems to be more. i`m not ready like i seems to be. is my analysis wrong? and i`m not worthy enough i think. so the conclusion is that the problems lie in me not him. i need to cross myself before i can reach you.
by the way raymond`s in hospital. he ain't getting any better. getting us worried for him. been praying that he'll get well soon. though we may tangle ourselves in arguments at times, i still care. DO NOT TAKE ME SERIOUS WHEN I TALK IN ANGER. i try to be understanding already and i think i am, but things are bad still. he said i was over sensitive but i don`t think so. mr chan, i quarrel with you some other day, you rest for the time being. =)
meanwhile i work hard to earn my pay for my studies. and to pay for my meals. haha.. it`s dinner time. *munchies*
waiting for dar to call me later. =)
posted by SERENiFiED PRiNCESS on 7:10 PM
